After Dave and I married, we immediately wanted a child to love. Like tomorrow. And though we conceived, we miscarried. Not once. Not twice, four times. Which left us feeling pretty frustrated and hopeless about getting what we wanted – a child to love.
Getting everything you want isn’t under your complete control, though you’d like it to be. Often, an element of Grace comes into play when manifesting dreams. This lack of power can create frustration, anger, grief, and sometimes downright suffering. In those times, I lean into Grace and have faith that even though there’s currently a gap between where I am and where I want to be, there’s a Divine process happening. There’s a higher meaning for the delay or detour. That was certainly true for our four losses and birthing three angels into this world.
Nevertheless, you can significantly influence getting the results you want – releasing sticky pounds, creating your own business, cultivating a passionate relationship – with what Tony Robbins refers to as the three pillars of power. I see them as three keys to getting the results you want in life. Using them will not only empower you to charge forward toward your dreams but can save you a whole lot of time, energy, and even money along the way.
We’re crystal clear on what we don’t want most of the time. I don’t want to be fat. I don’t want to fail. I don’t want to pick up the phone and call that person. If you’re like me, you have a list of ‘don’t wants’ you can rattle off lickety-split.
One key to getting the results you want is to be crystal clear on WHAT you want and WHY you want it. For example, I don’t want to be fat becomes I want to release 10 pounds to have more vibrant energy and presence to play with my children. A great tool to gain clarity is called the 7-Level Deep Exercise.
The 7-Level Deep exercise starts with Level 01 asking: what do you want? Then asks: why is it important for you to (Level 01 answer.) For example, Level 01: I want to release 10 pounds. Level 02: Why is it important for you to release 10 pounds? Answer: because I want more energy. Level 03: Why is it important for you to (Level 02 answer: have more energy.) The exercise does this seven times to get to your deepest why – the one that’ll drive you through anything to reach your goal (even when the going gets tough!) It’s crazy simple and incredibly profound.
Get Instant Access to a 7-Day Reset where I teach you this tool LIVE so you can define your target (what you want) and discern your emotional fuel (why you want it.)
One key to getting the results you want is to be crystal clear on WHAT you want and WHY you want it.
USE A PROVEN-STRATEGY
When my youngest was about two years old, I hit the gym to get my pre-baby body back. After a solid year of effort, I felt and looked pretty much the same! I found a personal trainer in my search for answers, bought her 90-day home-workout program, and got to work. I not only experienced jaw-dropping transformational results and felt amazing; I learned the importance of following a proven system with an experienced guide.
I’m always looking for proven strategies with experienced guides. This blog post follows a proven method I learned from an experienced entrepreneur making a massive impact in people’s lives!
Who’s already got the results you’re trying to reach? Do they have a proven map for you to follow? Tools to make your journey easier? If so, they likely have a tribe of people for you to expand your learning experience. The trifecta of using a proven strategy with a guide who surrounds you with an empowering tribe will keep you coming back and on track to get to the promised land you seek – those results you desire most.
HINT: Join the FREE Reset Tribe and connect with a wellness tribe that believes you are worthy of what you want!
ALIGN YOUR ACTIONS
Working my way through a Tony Robbins course, he mentioned something that struck me square in the face: “You don’t get your shoulds; you only get your musts.” If you want to release ten sticky pounds, but they’re still hanging on, chances are you made releasing 10 pounds a nice-to-have, not a must-have. Ouch! I know because I’m guilty of not taking actions aligned with my desired results. What the heh?
Working my way through a Tony Robbins course, he mentioned something that struck me square in the face: “You don’t get your shoulds, you only get your musts.”
Here’s where personal development comes into play so you can unblock the obstacle in the way of you taking aligned action. Anyone who’s done enough self-growth knows the block in your way is Y.O.U. Your beliefs, rules, and the meaning you’ve attached to people, events, and things in life.
When you know what you want, why you want it, and have a proven strategy to get there, YET you still don’t align your actions in the direction of your desires – you have an internal conflict. A part of you desires those results, and a part of you wants to stay the same – often because you perceive change means pain.
Humans avoid pain like the plague and instinctively move towards pleasure! Hello, chocolate, and see ya later, exercise! Pain and pleasure are the two great motivators of human behavior. It turns out pain motivates us more than pleasure. So the trick is to link pain to the right thing!
When you focus on the pain of changing your actions – you’ll avoid doing the very thing that’ll bring your desired results. The secret is to unlink your pain associated with change and attach pain to staying the same – your current daily actions that aren’t aligned with your desired results.
For example: How is the current way you’re eating causing you pain? Sticky pounds, low energy, digestive distress, something else? What’s the worst possible outcome if you don’t consistently eat the way you should – for your genetics and health? Blow up the pain – make it massive. Maybe it’s envisioning yourself having to go out and buy larger-sized clothes because nothing in your closet fits anymore. The key is to find something that creates so much pain you’ll do anything to avoid it. It’s incredible how fast you’ll turn your “shoulds” into “musts” and get into aligned action!
Once you find your motivating pain, place it behind you – like a stick jabbing you in the back. For me, my stick is digestive pain. When I eat, I focus on the digestive distress coffee, dairy, gluten, sugar create and leave them off my plate (most of the time.) Placing pain behind you like a stick jabbing you forward is how you get the pain to motivate you in the right direction – towards your desired goal – in this case, digestive bliss.
You can also use pleasure to motivate you in the right direction by enlarging your desired goal and placing it in front of you – like a dangling carrot. I do this during killer workouts in my basement. I think of me and my husband hiking, biking, and exploring the most beautiful, profound destinations around the globe together with vibrant energy. It keeps my eye on the prize – vibrant health for many years to come!
There ya have it: the three keys to getting the results you want. Never underestimate the power of a resourceful you using these three pillars of power: gain clarity, use a proven strategy and align your actions to manifest your desired results.
If you forget, remember: you won’t always get what you want on your desired timeline. In those times, lean into Grace. As Tony Robbins says, “God’s delays are not God’s denials.” Have faith that even though there’s currently a gap between where you are and where you want to be, there’s a Divine process happening – a higher meaning for the delay or detour.
You got this and you’re far from alone.
#WeAreInThisTogether for #HealthyChange
P.S. We are in this together for healthy change. You deserve vibrant energy & confidence to be, do, and give your best self every day. Connect with a wellness tribe that believes you are lovable and worthy of what you want. Grow yourself through FREE training from wellness experts and meetups with your tribe (virtual and in-person.) You have nothing to lose but vibrant energy & confidence to live your soulFULL purpose.
About the Author: Dr. Sue
Sue McCreadie, MD (aka Dr. Sue), is a Pediatric Physician and Breakthrough Coach for Midlife Mamas. For over two decades, she’s helped thousands achieve vibrant health as a wellness expert. Bringing three daughters into this world, she lost four along the way, and crossed the pregnancy finish line a digestive–hormonal–emotional mess. But, over the following decade, she found a deeper meaning for miscarriages, reclaimed vibrant health, and grew emotional resiliency. Dr. Sue is obsessed with living her soulFULL purpose and helping other growth-minded Mamas do the same. She believes we are in this together to rise up, realize our dreams, and feel fulfilled in every facet of our lives.