1 Simple Step to The Relationship You Want with Your Teen

I probably hear, “Mom, are you listening?” at least once a day. Most of the time, my response is, “Uhhhhh… no!” 😂 That’s because most of the time, instead of being present with my daughter, I’m in my head problem-solving or running through a to-do list. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Have you ever noticed how hard it is to be fully focused on a current moment and show up with all your energy and attention – especially during moments with other people?

Think of the last time you had a conversation with someone and didn’t see their phone, didn’t see their eyes dart away to something distracting happening behind you, didn't notice their attention shift to their watch. (Heads up: it may have been a loooong time ago. 😅)

Presence matters!

It’s a building block of connection. A safe space where one is seen, heard, felt, and knows they’re important. Imagine how your heart would overflow with love if you spent time with someone who showed you that you, ✨ YOU ✨ are so valued, honored, and special that they mute the world to focus on you. 😌



One of the best things about being present is it’s a gift that doesn’t require problem-solving. Because...

Presence isn’t a head thing; it’s a heart thing.

So, when my daughter asks if I’m listening and I respond truthfully that I’m not, I realize her question is a gift. An opportunity to refocus, BE present with her, and build a deeper soulfull connection between us. So, I shift my attention and show up to the moment (even when I’m not in the mood or present-ly tired 😴😅!) 

The funny thing is, people can tell when we’re distracted, can’t they? We may think we’re hiding our preoccupation with “Mmm hmm’s” and head nods. When really, our lack of presence is as clear as crystal to anyone actually paying attention. 😬

I figured that out when, after actually being present with my daughter, instead of asking me if I’m listening, she says, “Thanks for listening, Mom.” And my heart soars to the moon! 🌙🥹✨

You, like me, know you want to have epic relationships with your teens that last a lifetime. Knowing that makes it easier to accept that you must be present with them now – not later when you have more time, more energy, or fewer distractions. To be present, you must accept when you’re not and do something to shift your focus, even when that requires a few internal redirects along the way.

Present Mama ➳ Shifts Her Focus ➳ Has Epic Relationships with Her Kiddos 😊 💛

Tips for when the chaos of modern mama life pulls your attention away...

Sometimes, presence includes listening, eye contact, and conversation, while other times, it’s more about quiet attentiveness and physical touch, such as holding hands or hugging. Yet, in every moment of presence, your intention and choices matter. So...

❥  ACT

Ditch distractions! Silence your phone, take off your smartwatch, sleep your computer screen, and physically turn away from things that could divert your attention.

❥  ABIDE

Early on, inquire with whomever you’re sharing this moment with if they only want to be heard or if they’re also hoping for ideas and solutions. Then, honor their request.

❥  ASK

When you notice your focus drifting, ask yourself, “Am I being… Reassuring? Encouraging? Warm? Honest? Present?” If the answer is no, make an adjustment.

 No, there's no shortcut “presence pill” you can take 💊😅. Being present is like going to the gym; real results come from showing up and getting those reps in! Practice makes progress, Mama! The results? Totally worth it!

Now, it’s your turn! 💫 Sprinkle some magic on your relationships by being present like the absolutely ah-mazing and capable Mama you are.

Everything you need is already within you Soulfull Medicine is here to show you where to look.

xo,


P.S. Curious how to stay present with teens when all they do is grunt or roll their eyes? It’s like trying to connect with a brick wall that occasionally demands money. 🙄💸😂 

Patience and persistence, Mama! Sometimes just being there, physically, and letting them know you’re available can work wonders over time.

Are they watching a show? Sit with them and instead of being on your phone, truly pay attention to what they care about. Have they gone out with friends? Send a short, simple, complimentary text, "Just want to let you know I'm so proud of you! Love, Mom" 💌

Over time, it all adds up. (Whether those moody teens respond positively in the moment, or not. 😉)