A Simple Way to Navigate Difficult Conversations

Hand raised if a relationship in your life could use a little spring cleaning.

Yet, like many challenging things, approaching a difficult conversation can feel daunting. The longer you wait? The bigger the fear grows.

So, here’s a simple, anyone-can-do-it framework to turn down the stress and have a connected conversation in midlife with a friend, colleague, child or intimate partner.

In essence, this framework is like tidying up the living room together — but for your emotions! Instead of attacking each other, you work together to attack the problem between you, getting it in the open, sorted through, and resolved, so you can both breathe easier and feel closer.

When you approach this conversation with vulnerability and speak from your heart – you cannot mess it up!

STEP ONE
Plan it

Schedule an actual sit-down, FaceTime, or phone call, making it clear this conversation is important. Before you start, be sure to check in to see if it’s a good time for you and your friend/spouse/favorite astrologist to chat.

There are better times to start a conversation than interrupting someone’s flow or asking for their attention when they’re super stressed.

All calm and ready for focused attention? Go for it!

STEP TWO
Cut to the Chase

First up, ditch the small talk — this isn’t the time to chat about the weather. Starting with your heart’s why sets the tone for a serious, meaningful conversation from a place of love and respect.

Kick-off by expressing gratitude and sharing why you’re there, like, “Hey, thank you so much for talking with me. I’ve been doing some soul-searching, and it really matters you know how much I care about you and our relationship, which is why I want to talk. Something’s been bothering me, and I know we can figure it out together.”


STEP THREE
Own Your Stuff

Take responsibility for your part in your experience. If owning your stuff sounds scary, picture it as admitting you accidentally spilled coffee on their favorite book. It’s showing you’re willing to help clean up the mess. It’s scary and also super brave!

Acknowledge you might be wrong, might be right, but you’re not really concerned about any of that — your focus is on how you’re feeling and your relationship being a place of harmony.

Open up and share what’s got you down. Maybe that includes some personal revelations or beliefs you’ve been carrying around about them.

For example,“Wow, so my brain totally knows you care about me, but when you didn’t text or call on my birthday, this belief popped up that I don’t matter in your life. That brought me really sad feelings.”





STEP FOUR
Reaffirm

At this point, feelings can start to run hot. Whip up a cool, refreshing breeze by stating your original why again, with a bit of extra love in the mix.

Remind them you’re not laying blame or holding a grudge. That could go like this, “I realize it’s not all on you, and I am absolutely part of what happens between us — the awesome and the not so awesome. I love you, and I want to own up to my part in this. Genuinely, I care about us and want to always be able to figure out challenges in our relationship.”


STEP FIVE
Give Them Space to Absorb What You Shared

After you’ve shared, hit the pause button. Let what you’ve said sink in.

Pay attention to social signals, such as facial expressions and breathing patterns, that might indicate they’re still processing the information or ready to move forward by talking more.



STEP SIX
Encourage Sharing

If they don’t jump in to share their side, don’t sweat it! Silence is not a stop sign; it’s more like a ‘yield – gotta process what you just said’ sign.

If They Don’t Share
Now’s your chance to get curious. Ask open-ended questions to really understand their perspective. This part of the framework is all about listening and validating their feelings without rushing back in to get your point across. Like, “I’d love to hear your thoughts and feelings about this, whatever they are is okay. You have a safe space with me.”

Seek to understand before expecting to be fully understood.

You know, so it’s less “Mom nagging about homework” and more “Oprah-level soulful conversation.”

When They Do Share
After they share, repeat what you heard them say, “So, if I’m getting this right, you’re saying you care about us too, and you’ve been feeling guilty about forgetting to reach out on my birthday but were too embarrassed to bring it up.”

At this point, they may correct you. That’s okay! A simple, “Ah, that makes even more sense! Thanks for restating that part; I’m so glad I understand where you’re coming from now.”


STEP SEVEN
Affirm the Future

As you wrap things up, share a hopeful, loving vision for the future. Saying, “I love you. I’m so happy we cleared this up. I love how we can always figure out anything that comes up in our relationship.” can be incredibly powerful, signifying that despite a heavy conversation, your relationship is healthy and you’re moving forward.



STEP EIGHT
Love, Love, LOVE!

Finally, be love — whatever that means to you. Thank them for being open and willing to engage in such a deep and potentially challenging conversation. Gratitude shows your appreciation for their openness, acknowledges their vulnerability, and builds trust in the relationship. “Thanks for talking with me. I’m so glad you’re in my life.”

Now it’s your turn to put this framework into action!



With heart and these simple steps forward, you cannot mess this baby up! 

The Connected Conversation Framework can work miracles, even when your heart is pounding and your pits are drenched. The best part? It either brings you closer or allows for a peaceful parting of ways — all good stuff that brings you relief, joy, and one step closer to living your most soulfull life.

You can do this! 😅🤗

All you need is already within you, Mama. Soulfull Medicine is here to help you know where to look!

xo,