Confession: I’m a recovering perfectionist, for sure.

Back in third grade, my penmanship was so neat the teacher excused me from cursive lessons. Now? Even my family can barely read my messages. (Unless I text them! 😅)

In my beginning days as a Mom, I would even fake enjoyment of cooking and baking because I thought it would make my family love me more if I played the part of ‘perfect mom.’ Spoiler alert: it didn’t work. Then, I let go of perfectionism. Now? My daughters take the lead in the kitchen and even do little things to make it more fun for me. (My sweet girls! 🥹)

Whether I liked it or not (and at first, I did not like it!), becoming the mama I wanted to be required letting go of perfectionist tendencies; it was just too exhausting to keep up with the charade of the so-called supermom.

At first, it was scary to be flawed and messy, to not have it all together. But in time all that imperfect authenticity actually made me into exactly the mom I’d always hoped to be — happy, honest, and strong.

Trying to be perfect holds women back, period.

It eats up time, energy, and mental focus. 😩

Imagine the hours you’ve spent on perfect skin, perfect hair, perfect grades, and perfect performance at work — how different would your life be if you’d spent that time having fun, connecting with others, laughing, playing, being creative, napping, going nature walks, snuggling? 🥰

Self-criticism. Procrastination. Fear. Exhaustion. Emotional outbursts. Disrupted sleep. Loneliness. Timidity. Shyness. Unhappiness. Stuck. Anger. Sadness. Unrealistic expectations. Hurting.

Those are just some of the things trying to perfect brings to your life. (Sorta sounds like the tail end of a prescription drug commercial, huh? 😅 With those side effects, I’m passing on perfectionism!)

The Opposite of Perfect Isn't Being Flawed, It's Being FREE!

You deserve to be seen, heard, and loved for exactly who you are, too — screw who you think you should be; that’s so high school!

So, what’s the opposite of perfectionism? Maybe authenticity. Just being real, honest, and upfront with who you are, how you look straight outta bed, how you feel, and what you want. 😌

Letting go of perfect doesn’t mean you stop caring about being awesome or start letting anyone down, it means attaining freedom — the freedom to be yourself and actually enjoy it.

Perfection wears a lot of camouflage...

❥  REAL & PERMANENT
Shocking but true: perfection is possible, but she’s got some serious limits.

Perfection is only attainable because it’s momentary and subjective.

Your 1990’s prom look? Perfect — in your opinion, at that moment in time. But when I propose you wear that outfit and style your hair that way every day from here on out? Uh… Where’s the emergency exit?!

Flawless results are one (totally glorious) thing. But, holding on too tightly to the idea that life can be a non-stop ride of unwrinkled bed sheets is boring, exhausting, and separates you from connecting with other people, exploring your creativity, and even expanding your spiritual growth.


❥  HIGH STANDARDS
When you think about it, high standards are love-based decisions rooted in care, thoughtfulness, and kindness. Like the days of lovingly stroking a child’s forehead when they were under the weather, attentively ensuring they felt safe, and their needs were being looked after.

Perfection, however, is a beast of a different nature, for she arises out of fear-based decisions. Unlike her gentle cousin of strength and acceptance, perfection stems from worry, fear, and a foreboding sense of what-if scenarios you’d do just about anything to avoid.

How to tell the difference?

Being love-based, high standards fill you up with comfort, ease, and joy — you might find yourself smiling as, like the trailblazer of organization, Marie Kondo, you gently fold your laundry into tiny squares or find yourself applauding with wild glee as your bestie opens the gift you made sure she’d love.

Perfection, though? Just leaves you feeling stressed you out! Think: verge of tears, racing heartbeat, stomachaches, hives, and a headful of negative thoughts.


❥  JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH
In this month’s Soulfull Community gathering, one brave Mama shared her fear that even though she’s passionate about her new side hustle, the ‘just not good enough’ monster keeps rearing its ugly head.

Perfectionism can mask two of your deepest fears –  that you’re not good enough and, therefore, you won’t be loved when people see who you truly are.

Yet, when this Mama stopped trying to have it all figured out and shared her fears? The women of Soulfull Community swooped into action, rallying around her with support and love.

Take a minute to curl up in a cozy spot and write out your answer yourself to just one question, "Where can you let go of perfect and replace it with what love would do?"

To all those still in the trenches of perfection: ditch the supermom cape and let your perfect-hair-don't-care flags fly! It's totally okay if you drop the ball sometimes. The world won't end, promise.

And in case you're curious, will you ever stop feeling like you should be doing more? It's a journey, Mama. Pack some snacks 🤣 it might take a while, but the destination is worth it. ✨

You can do it Mama! All you need is already inside you. And Soulfull Medicine is here to show you where to look!

Ready when you are!

xo,


P.S. Here's a little secret: letting go of that relentless strive for perfection might just be one of the best gifts you can give your kids — and they might just thank you for it one day!