My Beautiful, Unexpected Path to Faith
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Ever feel like you're just going through the motions at church? 😬
Like, when the pew feels more like a time-out chair than a gateway to divine connection?
I’ve been there. Recently, while volunteering in the Sunday School classroom – paintbrush in hand, colors swirling, – I was so infused with cheer I exclaimed, “Now this is my kinda church!” 🎨 😁
Growing up, skipping church wasn’t an option in my family. Even after sleepovers, my parents made sure that come morning, my butt was in that pew.
And I loved it.
Especially the cheer of youth group – midweek meetups, seasonal retreats, summer mission trips. Church was fun and foundational, shaping a deep sense of community and compassion.
As often does, things shifted when I became a teen. With most of my friends being Jewish, I opened up to different beliefs. In college, the lifestyle was more about being neighbors with a church than actually going inside. (Except maybe on Easter. 🐰 🐣)
And come med school, the subject of faith was something my peers either totally ignored or teased me about. However it happened, for a long stretch of time, my butt was not in that pew.
Ready for the plot twist? I fell head over heels in love with a man who’s all about church!
So, it was time to reacquaint myself. Yet, while church soothed his soul, for a while it scratched at mine like an itchy sweater you want to love but somehow just can’t get comfy in.
How do you make that itchy-sweater church feel like a cashmere wrap?
It's tough, especially when it feels like the universe is ghosting you and you’re pretty sure your prayers are just bouncing off the ceiling.
Losing pregnancies pushed my faith to its limits. (This included a 3-mile run with God where the only thought I played was, “I hate you for not giving me what I want,” which was a doozy.)
Over time, my grief led to a spiritual softening. Essentially, I redefined my relationship with God.
When the name Jesus was, well…. just too much for me, I rebranded the name to JLove.
When caught off-guard by a teen patient who asked, “Are you a Christian?” I fumbled for words before landing on, “I believe there are many pathways to God.”
Now, I explore my spirituality in ways that resonate with my soul AND go to church every Sunday to co-lead youth. My butt is in the pew, and my sweater is cozy. I just needed a few different threads.
What a beautiful testimony to patience and faith.
God’s delays are not God’s denials.
Today, I’m blessed with three wonderful daughters, a loving, hot-AF husband, and a fulfilling career in pediatrics. And I get to be here with you as we walk a soulfull path together.
There’s a whole universe of divine love out there. How you open up to it, connect with it, and honor it is as unique as you are.
Whatever it is, you won’t get any judgment from me about it!
xo,